Ike x Luigi
by ChampionKitty
Summary: Luigi is constantly forgotten, made fun of, and miserable. Just when all hope was lost Ike came into his life, and stole his heart. Funny things happen at a party then! Rated T for language and minor adult themes.


Smash Bros 4 had just been released not too long ago, with it came new characters and new experiences, also new ships! Anyway, Nintendo was hard at work making sure that for the next year their fighters stayed in Smash Town, the town where all the fighters stay for a while.

Luigi was amongst them, he's been having a good past few years! People don't call him Green Mario much anymore! Lucina did the other day.

Green-I mean...Luigi, shudders at the thought of that day.

"Hey who's that?" Lucina, a newcomer, asks.

Mr. Game & Watch simply beeps in response.

"What? His name is Big Nose? I doubt that! He kinda looks like Mario! I think his name is Green Mario!"

Luigi drops his nachos and runs out of the grocery store crying. He flung himself onto his bed and cried the whole night.

As a matter of fact right now, Luigi was standing in line once again, this time to use the only restroom in the whole town, sadly it seems the fat penguin king is taking his time once again. The green plumber found himself starting to cry as he saw Lucina walk right out of the ladies restroom, which never seemed to have a line.

"Green Mario, hi!"

Luigi fell to the floor, he ignored the puddle of lemonade that Pikachu made before him and started to cry as hard as he could, why, why was Lucina doing this to him?!

Lucina just shrugged and walked away, eager to watch some Dr. Phil with the girls tonight!

Luigi cried and cried, all the other male characters who were there ignored him, too busy yelling at Pikachu for pissing himself once again, getting it all over everyone's shoes.

That's when Luigi heard a voice, it was so angelic, and it was god-like. The voice said: "Hey, stand the fuck up, you're getting rat piss all over your god damn knees."

Luigi looked up, standing before him was the ever so muscular Ike, who just got back from pumping iron with Sheik.

"Ike," Luigi cried "why doesn't anyone ever remember Luigi?"

Ike takes a pause to think, then he answers, "You never do jack shit."

"But Luigi wants to do the jacking of the shit!"

"Then come with me," Ike reaches out.

Pit at this point lands in the middle of the square, right before the long line, he was so poor that his goddess friend finally lent him her cloud car! Now he too can become a Care Bear!

Luigi takes Ike's hand, and Ike punches Pit off the cloud cart, giving the angel a concussion. As Ike drives off with Luigi Dark Pit stands there laughing at Pit's misery. But all too soon Ike crashes the cloud mobile down and it lands on top of the dark angel.

"Ah chicken wings!" Ike attempts to start it up again, and he tries to drive away.

Luigi held onto Ike's arm closely, he was so scared of heights! "Ike! Luigi is afraid of heights!"

"Do not worry, for there is nothing to fear but fear itself..." Ike nods at Luigi, not paying attention as he hit the 'Duck Hunt' Duck, causing him to turn into a fried chicken. "Ooh! Chicken!" Ike starts to heavily gnaw on the juicy meat. Down below, the Dog was cheering.

Ike had been spending time with Luigi ever since that day. The two did everything together! They played board games, they dove into an ocean, they beat up other Smash characters together in team battles, heck the two even got drunk together!

It was today however that Luigi decided to confess his love for the man. He invited Ike to a random pink field that was full of tulips. Ike showed up of course, skipping his way toward the green plumber.

"What is it Luigi?"

"Ike, there's something Luigi must tell you..."

Ike nods, "What is it?"

Luigi blushes, "Luigi loves you!"

Ike gasps as Luigi pulls out a small box, inside containing a ring, "Luigi! I love you too!"

Marth from behind drops his ring and runs away crying in Japanese, which sounds a lot like English, but with Japanese characters.

Luigi and Ike kissed then, their love was forever sealed as the marriage took place the following day. Everyone showed up.

"Congratulations my brother!" Mario pats Luigi on the back shortly after the wedding started.

"Thank you Mario!"

Ike runs over to his new husband, he happily gets on his knees and motions for Luigi to feel his stomach, "The baby is kicking!"

Everyone heard that, and everyone started crying happily, except for Marth, who was crying out of pain and anguish, he decided enough was enough and shot himself, his brains landing in the punch bowl.

"Ooh punch! All this crying made me thirsty!" Shulk says, picking up the whole bowl and drinking it all, he then suddenly started to choke on an eyeball!

"Someone help! Shulk is choking!" Peach points out, just as Mario was lifting up her dress.

"Do we have a doctor in the house?!" Zelda shouts.

"Where's Dr. Mario?!" Lucario ask.

"Eh he's gone," Mario's claims, he then proceeds in making out with Peach.

"It's ok!" Gananodorf shouts, "I'm a doctor!"

"Go save Shulk!" Female Robin says.

"Time to tip the scales!" Male Robin says.

"No, not now," Female Robin pats the her retarded cousin on the head, pulling him in close as to not hurt himself on accident again.

Gananodorf nods, "Alright here I go!"

"HERE I GO!" Male Robin shouts.

Gananodorf puffs up his chest and starts to run toward the dying Shulk. When I say run, I mean his definition of run, the man was literally standing in place and moving his legs.

Awkward silence filled the air, it wasn't until another half an hour before the evil king made his way to the long-dead boy.

Ike came back, holding the baby he had just given birth, he was in Luigi's arms, bridal style. The lovers came in to see their wedding be turned into a funeral, everyone eating salsa without the chips, just how Shulk liked it.

Luigi drops Ike and runs over to Link, "What happened here?!"

Link used his absolute best vocabulary to describe the scene that just took place, "Heyh! Yah! Hiyah! WAAAAAAAH!"

Luigi nods, "Thank you..."

Toon Link adds in quickly, "Bompf!"

Luigi sighs, "No I'm not interested in buying some anal beads..."

Ike walks back over to his lover, "I think we should bury the baby too..."

"Now honey just because it isn't moving doesn't mean we should kill it, the little guy is just shy!"

Ike sighs, "Ok..."

"ARCHFIRE!" Male Robin shouts, suddenly setting the dead baby on fire.

"Ooh look chicken!" Ike starts to eat the chicken that appeared in his hand, "Hey where did the baby go?"

Luigi fell over, he knew it was coming! Right then and there he gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. The proud parents were proud that this one wasn't dead, except this one was-

Luigi gasps, "Luigi gave birth to Lucina!"

Female Robin drops her juice box, "What?"

Chrom then from nowhere gets close to her ear, "Revenge, bitch! DUN DUN DUUUUN!"


End file.
